On a good day, you wouldn’t think that I have a disability. It is only when I am forced to rely on my crutches or wheelchair, or when I have various joint supports that it becomes obvious. However, because of my hypermobile joints caused by a connective tissue disorder (among other issues), I am in constant pain to varying degrees, as well as chronic fatigue. My pain and energy levels restrict the amount of activity I can do in one day. So, I either have to delegate to others, or I have to manage expectations (mine and others) about how much can be achieved.

In some ways, this makes ministry difficult. It is particularly frustrating in my work as a pioneer minister, attempting to bring church into the community. I can’t just plan for things to happen inside our church building, where I have equipment and support to help me. Instead, I do things in the community. In buildings or spaces that may or may not be accessible. In areas that may or may not have adequate places for me to sit (I cannot stand for longer than 2 minutes without pain!) I have to rely on getting support from people who do not know me and my condition and so might not understand why I need to rest, or sit, or take a moment for the pain to settle.

It is frustrating to constantly have to explain that yes, I don’t look disabled, but no, I do have a condition that requires some support and adaptation. Or no, just because I am able to stand and walk around at the moment, doesn’t mean I won’t need to use a wheelchair tomorrow, because I have pushed myself past my limit for today. And of course, there are the additional challenges that come when I am on crutches or in a wheelchair.

But although there are challenges, through them I have found they have enabled me to minister to people in ways that an able-bodied person couldn’t. I am able to relate and communicate on a common ground with those who experience chronic suffering of one type or another. Whether that is due to disability, illness, addiction, or something else, being able to empathise with the exhaustion, frustration and just sheer difficulty of day-in-day-out struggle is powerful. I have had conversations with people that have gone far deeper, far more quickly than I think would have occurred if I didn’t fully understand.

My experiences allow me to connect with people who would otherwise dismiss God entirely. Many people with disabilities have given up on God and Church. Many because they have been badly hurt or let down by other (often able-bodied) Christians, who are unable to understand the constant struggle. I have had conversations with so many people who are terrified of being prayed for because they think they are going to be judged for being disabled, or given false hope for healing that doesn’t come. So, being able to speak to them from a position of disability makes them stop and listen again, as they realise this isn’t going to be like the times before.

All in all, for me, being a disabled minister can be tough. But I wouldn’t change it, my disabilities are helping me reach others who need to hear that God loves them.

‍